Advice for a woman physically abused by her boyfriend

Dear Rob,

I was looking for a little advice on what I should do.

My boyfriend is what I would say very controlling.

I don’t get to leave my apartment and I never have my car he always has it so I don’t leave. He checks my email and I just got rid of my phone cause I got tired of him checking it. I don’t work because he won’t allow me to and I’m kind of stuck.

I am only 18 and I have 7 month old twin boys and every time I try and leave him he threatens me that he will find a way to take my kids from me or he will get me kicked out of my apartment or get my car taken.

If he is not threatening me with something then when I try and leave him then he sits there and cries and makes me feel bad.

I don’t have money and my apartment is the only place I have and when the cops have come out they don’t do anything about it.

He just lies and says he lives here and they just leave.

He is verbally abusive and has more recently became a little physically abusive. Throwing me into walls pushing me in the back things of that nature.

I am truely scared and don’t know what to do anymore.

Please help, Scared

Hi Scared,

You need to plan an escape NOW before worse things happen.

Look in the yellow pages or online on a local news site for “Women’s Shelters”, Women’s Help Line”, “Crisis Center” that sort of thing.
They will put you in touch with a group that can help you get away from this guy before he really harms you, or worse.

This type of abuse only gets worse, he doesn’t want you to leave because then he will have to face his own shortcomings. For now, he can just vent against you… and when the kids are older and walking they will also be targets for him to abuse.

If you can, contact your parents, ask for forgiveness for whatever you did, (I can assume you’re not on good terms with them right now) and ask them to arrange an escape for you.

Women’s shelters can provide an anonymous residence so he can’t find you and this will allow you the opportunity to get on your feet, get your life back in order.

Please don’t let it get any farther, get help now!

God Bless You,
Email me again if you need more advice.
Rob

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