AdviceGeneral.com

Hi Rob,
Look I need your help, I don’t know what to do any more.

My friends give me advice but it’s not good enough for me. Well you see I’m already in a relationship…. and I have been with him a time before this. He did me real dirty and we ended up breaking up…well at first I thought it was the end and that I’d give anything to have him back. so I distanced myself from him and it took him 2 months but he came back begging for a 2nd chance. Being the good person with a KIND heart I said yes.

Well its only been 3 weeks and I don’t feel the same!?!?!

A friend who’d been through the same problem as me said it took her sometime to feel the same when her and her boyfriend got back together… but 3 weeks seems to long!!!!

I don’t want to break up with cause I still care, I just cant respect him any more!!! But there’s also something other then that I forgot to say

There’s this one guy at school, and I’m not that type of girl who cheats but he always stares at me… and it looks like he wants to say something but never does. I find him to be so interesting. lol

That’s how I felt about my boyfriend before all this. But all he ever does is smile and looks at me. He has said about 18 words to me but do you think I should work things out with my boyfriend or go talk to the guy at school???

Hi,
You need to break up with this guy.
AND stop being so dependent.

If you value yourself only by the guy you’re going out with you’re going to have a lot of heartache.

My suggestion:
Break up with boyfriend number one.
Ignore the guy that’s staring at you…. sounds freaky to me and just because a guy makes eyes at you you’re considering changing your boyfriends?
UGH!

Stay single until the week before Valentine’s Day and see who comes after you.
Feel free to date anyone BUT the guy you broke up with.
Never give a guy a second chance.
Best wishes,
Rob.

Hi Rob,
My fiancé and I split about 2 weeks ago, we had been going out for two and a-half years and everything was going great until around 7 weeks ago when her dad died. Unfortunately she found her dad dead in the house, she organized everything funeral etc, and I tried to balance being there for her and giving her the space she needed but despite all of that she seemed to be coping fine.

She had to give up the house and is now staying with her half-sister and her boyfriend and she does not get on with her mum whom had split with dad sometime ago. The fiancé and I had talked about her moving in with me even before her dad died, and after wards she knew she was more than welcome to stay, but about 3-4 weeks after the funeral she seemed to spend less time with me, I’d ask her down for supper etc., but she was always doing something else, especially with her best pal. She called me last week and told me “she didn’t want this right now” and I hadn’t done anything wrong, and finished it.

I’m gutted, IS IT me? Is it due to her Dad’s death? What should I do as she’s told me to stay in touch……. help.
Regards R.

Hi R,
It sounds like you dropped the ball. She didn’t get the support she needed from you at a critical time in her life. By giving her space, you actually let her down, I would think. You didn’t say if her ‘best pal’ was male or female and that can make a difference. I would have hoped that you’d have been picked as her ‘best pal’ to get her through this event in her life (her father’s death) and that’s where you lost her. You weren’t there.

Your goal now is to get back in touch with her. 2 and a half years isn’t something that is easily dismissed.
She needs to feel that you will be there for her and you’ve got to start acting like you will be there.

Start off with sending her some flowers or some other small gift that says you are thinking of her. Invite her out for a quiet dinner and a long talk about what has happened and your future together. If she doesn’t come with some solid answers, you’ll know that it’s time to move on. Don’t just hang around because she wants you to be near her and available. That’s just a weak excuse to drop you for a second time down the road.
Best wishes,
Rob.

Hi Rob,
Noticing the type of advice that you give, I had to ask you some question about a 3.5 year relationship, that officially came to a conclusive a couple months ago.
Mutually, we felt as though there were things that I did wrong (jealousy, poor treatment, and getting too upset or angry, overanalyzing, etc) that may have accumulated over the years.

However, there were times towards the end the relationship when she began to act differently and not as happy with talking to me or seeing me. An important fact, however, is that she currently attending graduate school. She claims that her limited time to see me, coupled with the accumulated discomfort that she felt for me, is what ultimately ended matters between us. Right now, she wants to be alone, hang out with her friends, and as she claims, “do her thing.” However, she still claims to love me! Anytime I mention the idea of her going out and dating so she can find someone, she tells me that she has not met the man that can equate to me yet. She doesn’t see anyone out there for her that can match up to me.

She also stated on occasion that there are times when she’s unhappy being without me ever since we split up. She says this is not necessarily a permanent situation. She wants to take some time to see how we get along under these conditions and see if anything changes between us. I have tried to back off and act as if I don’t care either way about getting back with her, but she has consistently managed to reel me in (me becoming a WUSSY) with flirting, seduction, and loving gestures such as wishing that I would cuddle with her. She sees reactions from other girls aimed at me and she makes comments such as, “I’m hotter than them. Sorry!” Or, “I think she wants you.”
Bottom line, I want her back, but feel as though I need to keep that notion internal as much as possible. I’ve also told her that I am confused as to the logic behind her flirtation. Her response, “If you don’t like it, I won’t do it anymore.” She is definitely playing games. I feel I need to let her come to me and continue to play hard ball, but it’s getting difficult to stay so disciplined.

She seems confused over her feelings about me. My best friend suggested that I take her out for the weekend one of this upcoming weekends for diner, a movie, and then a hotel room. Just spend the whole weekend with her to bury the hatchet and indirectly attempt to clean the slate.
Recently, I ran the idea past her, and she immediately expressed a solid interest in that idea, but I also told her that I don’t know about the sex part. I told her I don’t know about that because I do not want to add to her confusion in regards to how she perceives me (wanting me back or not wanting me back). What do you think about the leisurely weekend time with her and my thoughts about the sex situation? Should that weekend even happen?

What can I do to change this whole scenario? I do want her back. That’s the truth. I don’t think I should let her know that I want her back though – just keep it casual I admit that I have been wuss in the past, telling her that I want her back. Big no no. Still, she seems attracted to me, still wants to have sex with me, and claims to still have feelings for me. I have acted like a wuss in the past couple months, but now I’m attempting to turn that around. Can I get this girl back again with an “I don’t care either way” approach? If so, what do you suggest would be a good plan for me to do that? Do I pay her any mind? Do you conceivably see a future once again for us?
Joe

Hi Joe,
Sorry to tell you but you’ve been downgraded from boyfriend to plaything. Sure, she still has feelings for you, but she’s dumped you so she can explore if it’s possible for her to have feelings for different guys too.

The weekend you’re planning could be a good thing but most likely I see a big expense, a little pleasure and nothing being resolved.

If you want to turn this relationship around it’s time for you to be the single guy she at first wanted you to be… and that means doing things without her watching over your shoulder, without her hanging around with you and your friends.

What you need to know about long term relationships that break up out of confusion, lost interest and maturing personalities is that they are a hard habit to break. Couples remain friendly and comfortable with each other after this type of breakup, but deep down the person that initiated the breakup is dissatisfied with their lives and looking for something (and someone) new and exciting.
And they keep you in the wings, waiting for them to come back to you, until they do find that something new because they don’t have to fully feel the loss of your relationship while you’re still around.

It’s time for you to give her the gift of missing you. Move on with your life and let her decide if her feelings for you is as strong as it once was as she is missing you.

Catch up with her in a couple of months. But do not wait as a wussy single guy pining away for his lost love. Get out there and date other women.
Now!
Best wishes,
Rob

Dear Rob,
I read your website and was interesting to me to see that a lot of people have asked you advice on relationships and I was impressed with the advice you gave them. I just went through a very difficult time in my life and I want to tell you what happened and hope that you can give me some advice, please.

I use to live in Illinois from 2002-2004. I had lived in Florida my whole life, but then I had moved to live in IL with my brother who was there for work. Well, in 2004 I decided to move back to Florida to finish my Bachelors degree since it was cheaper. When I left in 2004 my guy cousin decided that he was going to move up to IL and live with my brother so he could study for his medical boards there with my brother. So, I was living in Florida studying for my Bachelor’s degree and a year later I decided to go up to IL to visit my brother for his birthday and all my friends were planning on meeting up with us that night for my brother’s birthday.
Well, my cousin who had moved in with my brother was there as well and he had told me that there was this guy (my ex- “N”) he had met when he moved up to IL and he wanted me to meet him, because he was a great guy and he was a lot of fun and he felt that we were a lot of like and would click well together.
So, I got to know this guy that he introduced me to and him and I ended up doing long distance for 14 months. During those months we had been deciding whether I was going to be moving back up to IL so that him and I could be together or if he was going to move to Florida. “N” (my ex) is originally from Florida, he had just moved up to IL when he met my cousin, it was a coincident that I had just left IL to go back to FL and he did the opposite. Well, anyways, I knew that it would be best for me to move to IL since he didn’t have a college degree and had a great job that was paying him really good for having no degree. He was in the IT industry and he enjoyed what he did.

Well, to make this long story shorter:
I ended up moving to IL for him after our long dreadful 14 months of long distance. When I moved up there 3 weeks later he flew me to Colorado with him and proposed to me there in the mountains, it was very romantic. Everything was going good, before I had even moved up to IL.
I’ll be honest we had some problems, things between him and I just weren’t like they use to be the first 7 months of dating. Well, when I moved in with him in IL things slowly got worse. We argued all the time and when we did I always found myself apologizing even if it wasn’t my fault. Just, because I got tired of trying to get him to realize where he was wrong, so I would just say “I’m sorry” so we wouldn’t argue anymore.
He always had this theory that he had told me once before “I’m always right until proven wrong” – Yeah we’re not close minded are we ? Not only did he tell me that, but his mom had already warned me that “he thinks he knows it all” I already knew that he was a stubborn person, because when we would get into arguments he would always try to prove his point and he ALWAYS knew how to twists things up to make it seem like he was not wrong, he was very good at manipulating me. I would get so tired of that, but I still kept holding on to what we have especially since we were planning on getting married.

I always thought that the reason why him and I would argue when were long distance was because we were frustrated that we couldn’t’ be together when we wanted to be.
But, then when we lived together, what was the excuse then? It’s crazy because a week before I was moving to IL, I cried to my roommate that I was afraid things wouldn’t work out. She told me that if they didn’t at least I can always move back home. Sometimes I wish I wouldn’t’ have moved and had listened to my own instincts.
Living with him was an up and down roller coaster ride. One day he was a sweet heart the next day he would make me feel like crap, he would put me down, but would act as if it was normal. He told me once that I had to workout because I looked like I was starting to gain weight, meanwhile I weighed 108lbs. not fat at all.
He’s told me that he felt that he cooked better then me, that I didn’t know how to dress with fashion, the way I walked, he asked me “if the university I graduated from was easy?” pretty much trying to tell me I wasn’t smart.
He just turned out to be someone I didn’t know when I moved to IL, he had changed so much, or maybe that was who he really was. Does it sound like maybe he was insecure? And maybe he said and did those things to feel better about himself. We even got into an argument once and he punched the wall.
We were suppose to be getting married 2 weeks ago and I still have a wedding dress I need to sell.
It’s been so hard. I don’t know what I can do to “let it go and move on” can you give me any advice as to why you think this happened, maybe we moved to fast, maybe we just really weren’t compatible, what can I do to move on and not feel that every guy I see now I feel like it would be hard for me to trust them.
How will I know the next person I meet won’t put on a front before I get to really know who he is and then realize that I don’t like the real him?? HELP me please! I feel really alone with this.
Thank you!
Suzy

Hi Suzy,
I am very sorry that things didn’t work out for you but I am deeply relieved that you didn’t marry this narcissistic, controlling sociopath.

You’re going to have good days, bad days and days of complete joy.
I know, I’ve been there.

I want you to understand that the choices you made in the past were based on the best information that you had at the time (with some romantic ideas thrown in for good measure) and it turned out that the information you had about your fiancé was flawed.
He lied and manipulated you from the beginning.
He wasn’t in love with you as much as he wanted to control you. To own you. To blame you for his own inadequacies and lack of self-esteem in being a man.
And you escaped. You should be proud of yourself.
Many other women find out too late about this type of man. They stick through several years of marriage, eventually coming to the conclusion (or never) that they are being abused. And they are trapped. Beaten and worse.

From this point over I order you to be over him. Sell off and throw out every little thing the two of you purchased together.

Stay single for the next few months. No dating until the fall. This will give you a summer to experience being single again. No rebound romances allowed.

The next guy you meet you will be aware of any efforts he makes to change you. If he cannot accept you as you are, head for the hills!
Any guy that demands change in the woman he is dating, the woman he loves, is not a real man. He’s a little boy in a man’s body, surrounded by insecurity and no self-esteem.
A real man is accepting, changes for the woman in her life and does not demand change in her.
Chivalry is not dead, it’s just on an MTV hiatus. A Rap music video is the worse education in the world for boys and men to learn how to relate to women and yet this is where we are in the 21st century.
Understand that you cannot change a man. Despite your best wishes (emotional and romantic involvement notwithstanding) the package you see is the package you get.

The basic test of challenging a man is the way to first make an effort if he is controlling or not. If he is an acceptable representation of being a real man.

Your test includes (but is not being limited to),
During the first few dates:
Changing plans of a date: suggest a different restaurant, a different movie at the last minute before the date starts. His response will give you insight of his controlling personality.
Ask him what you should wear for a date, when he is with you at your place. Let him choose between three different outfits. His responses will let you know how interested he is in how you are dressed with him.
(Insight: I don’t let my wife dress inappropriately for our dates, but I only allow myself to comment when asked. Her style isn’t always mine but I have learned to let her express herself in the way she dresses and wears her hair. And I take joy in knowing that she dresses to look good ‘for me’ and me alone every time. And I try my best to dress so that she takes pride in me.)

As you start to get involved, past the fourth date, does he pressure you for sex? There should be no sexual involvement until at least after the two month mark. I’d prefer to admit keeping sex until after marriage. Giving of yourself in this way should be saved for the real commitment of life and a future together which marriage represents, but all too often sex is just a using of each other’s bodies that doesn’t mean anything more than the grunting of bedroom partners. Avoid being used in this way always.
Does he talk down to you?
Does he hold intelligent conversations with you?
Does he respect your opinions or does he belittle you?
Do you do the same?

You should be introduced to his family, and him to yours, at about the sixth to eighth date. Location permitting.
And in this day and age if distance is a factor, make the effort. Holiday weekends spent with family (even if you have to stay in a hotel for convenience sake) is when this should happen, before events thrust you, him and the family together.
Are you involved enough in his life that you know his family?
Are you accepted by his family.
Does he put his family before you?
Do you do the same?

Should you decide to move in together you must decide on a contract that spells out not only the financial aspects of paying for your home, food and household expenses but also what will happen should this roommate arrangement not work out. How will things be divided, who keeps what.
Making an intelligent financial arrangement prior to sharing living space is an absolute must and will also foreshadow your future life together.

Should you manage to remain together after two years there should be a frank discussion of marriage. Or should there be a pregnancy marriage plans made immediately.
The both of you must prepare for your future family together, with marriage contract in hand. Or your life needs to start being planned apart, with all legal ramifications being dealt with as adults.
Best wishes,
Rob

Dear Rob,
I’m a 15 year old boy, and I’m dating a girl three years my senior.

I know this has been said so many times before by millions of others, but I feel like I really love her with my whole heart, we talk about anything and everything, and we are not afraid to show our feelings to each other.

Now the problem:
I met her at a strip club, not that I have any problem with that, she’s a nice respectable girl, don’t get me wrong, it’s just that I really want to pursue a relationship with her, and I don’t know how the knowledge of this girl’s (soon to be) previous job will bode with the feelings of my family.

She is quitting the job because she also wants to pursue a relationship with me, and she wants to return to school. I know there are an abundance of teenagers who think they are ready for love and marriage and so on, but I know most if not all fail to see how this may affect their lives.

I want to be the one who cares for her, protects her, and grows old with her, I’m new at asking advice, since my life has been pretty textbook until I met this girl, and everything is so confusing. I was just hoping you could help me clear my thoughts with some healthy advice.
Hope to hear from you,
Philip

Hi Philip,
You asked so I’m going to answer:
15 and 18 is too young to plan a life together. You both aren’t mature enough. You want to know how I can tell this about you?

Because you are making commitments that you can’t follow through on;
because you are deciding the rest of your life without talking to your parents about these changes you plan and these feelings you have;
because, at 15, you can’t even take care of yourself, no job, no education, no car, no place to live on your own, so how are you going to take care of someone else?
Now, I know what you’re going to say to me “Rob, I’ve thought it through and this is what I want to do”.

Well, if that were true, you’d have a plan to finish school, and let your ex-stripper girlfriend finish school too, before making these life-changing decisions.

As well, you would be talking to your parents about these decisions so that they can help you. But, usually is the case, teens hide these decisions from their parents because deep down they know that their parents will react negatively.

You have to change your plans from “the rest of your life” to “the rest of the year” type goals.

If you and your girlfriend can be honest with your parents about your plans you have a chance to succeed at these decisions. If you have to do all this behind their backs, you will continue to make mistakes and poor choices that will affect the rest of your life.
Honestly.

As teens mature and start to understand more about the life that is before them, as you get older and experiment with interactions with the opposite sex, it’s easy to start looking at life through a narrow lens.

Your focus changes from the latest video game and what to eat for a snack to how you can involve the person you love more and more into your life without thinking through the consequences.

But it is this narrow view that stops you from seeing life as it really is.
These “love blinders” don’t allow you to see a life with bills, payments, needing new clothes, groceries, a job that pays well enough to support yourself and the family you create.

As teens move from the “World is all centered around me” to the “World is about all I want to do”, the possibilities are overwhelming. The responsibilities of maturity are not yet understood or presented in a way to help a teen to make choices that benefits the rest of their lives. It’s only their immediate, and somewhat selfish needs (even involving others) that get any attention or thought.

Love, moving in together, having sex, being ready to make adult choices are powerful thoughts that cast these narrow lenses that stop you from seeing the whole world around you and your true place in it.

The world isn’t ready for you to make these choices as long as you try to make them on your own at this age.

I’m not saying don’t plan your future.
But I am saying that you need to stop thinking so selfishly. Stop thinking about your own desires, even if your girlfriend shares them with you.

Plan your future, just make sure that it involves the choices that your parents have also made for you so far: finish school, get a good job.

Then move out on your own, date, get married and have children on your own.
One step at a time; One adult responsibility at a time.

To sum up:
Get honest with yourself. Talk to your parents. Plan your life but finish school before making any life-changing commitments to anyone other than yourself.
Best wishes,
Rob.

Dear Rob,
I need your help on this one.
Well here is the situation:

I know this girl from high school, you know we when to high school together and even to the same college. But we were nothing more than friends through those years.

When I graduated in 2004 I hadn’t seen her since until now this past September in 07. We started dating.

Everything was great, I was really interested in her and she was felt the same way. The problem is that we both lost kind of interest on each other. This just happen three weeks ago.

We talked and decide to be just friends again. We both agree on that and that was it.

The next day she was texting me in the morning just to say good morning and later throughout the day she’d send other text messages just to find out how my day was going so far.

Well I have to admit that at first I did not want to reply back because we decide that we are just friends. I didn’t want to be rude so I did reply to some of her texts.

Anyway this continued for the rest of the week until I decided not to reply back but she still sends text messages every other day. Now I am at the point of whether or not to mention something to her in regards that I no longer want to talked to her or text message her.

So my question is Why is this girl keeps calling and texting after we broke up?
Please help on this one. I’m kind of confused.
Thank You,
Mike

Hi Mike,
I think it’s the fact that you were her only confidant while you were together. Now she doesn’t want to lose that security even if you’re not dating any more.

She just can’t let go but she doesn’t want to have what she wanted, you.

These are usually the types of girls that end up being abused by their boyfriends/husbands because they need so desperately to be loved that they’ll take any type of punishment as justified.
And don’t get me wrong, she is punishing herself by staying in contact with you.

Even if you don’t reply the answer to her texts and calls are in her head.
She keeps the story alive in her mind.

Just stay silent. She will find a guy to throw herself at and you’ll finally be out of the picture but my guess is that it’ll take about 6 weeks.
Email me then and let me know how things are going.
Best wishes,
Rob.

Dear Rob,
I was in a committed relationship for about 5 years. We lived together for that time. She moved out of state for a job. I was to follow but later decided to stay to finish school to be more marketable. She was not keen with this change of plans.

We parted. Things were ok at first but grew kind of ugly. She found someone new rather quickly.

Its been two years now with little or no contact from her. When we did talk it was civil.

I have chosen to move on. Now she wants her kitchen chairs she left behind. My first instinct is to ignore her request since we are no longer friends and do not communicate but then I think I should be the bigger of us and make arrangements for delivery of the chairs therefore preventing any further communication and cutting the last remaining tie with her.

My question to you is, are there any unwritten statutes of limitations when it comes to getting ones crap left behind in a break up?

Currently, I use the chairs every day and they match my decor quite nicely (the chairs were never an issue until now).

I don’t want to be a prick but I also have renounced myself to the heartbreak and don’t want deal with the feeling of giving in to her after so much time has passed. Being secretly spiteful is so much easier.
Thank you for your attention,
Marcus

Hi Marcus,
Depending on the state laws, I would say that the chairs had been abandoned by her and you have every right to them.

She’s not feeling good about herself and is using the chairs as a last stab at you.

Personally, I’d tell her to get lost. Prepare for yourself a legal case showing who bought the chairs with receipts and pictures. Create a journal with a timeline of when they were bought, how they were used and when she left you, moved out and left the chairs behind. Showing abandonment proves your case.

If you do want to silence her, then ship her the chairs, COD. Let her pay for the shipping. And be glad that this just may be you hear from her. What if she next wants the table the chairs were with? Or something else she paid for and now wanted returned as well?

Break-up etiquette does require that property be return to the rightful owner. That’s why it’s important to keep a journal of items purchased when together, receipts, who owns what and why. State laws, which vary, require a certain amount of time pass before property can be considered abandoned as well as any reasonable attempts you’ve made to get the other person to pick up the property.

Depending how hurt you are you may want to fight over the possessions, but in the course of time all you’re doing by keeping these chairs is having a reminder of that person that has abandoned you. Being spiteful isn’t a cure to healing a broken heart.
When you clean out your living space you also clean out your feelings and get some closure.

Move on by moving her crap out. But let her pay for shipping.
Best wishes,
Rob.

Dear Rob,
I’ve been seeing this guy for 7 months now. I met him in a biker bar where almost anything goes.

When I first saw him I wasn’t attracted to him but the way he approached me drew me in. Everyone in the bar consistently tells me how attractive I am and guys are always hitting on me. This is where the problems started.

I have never cheated on him and I do believe he hasn’t either. We live about a half hour apart. I have traveled every weekend to him to stay from Friday to Sunday night. He has been a great boyfriend, always takes care of me when were out, very respectful, loving and loves me to death.

I have never had anyone love me as much as he does. Problems are he is very insecure with his looks and himself. He has a problem with being in unfamiliar situations with crowds. He breaks out into sweats. He hasn’t spent anytime with me and my friends due to he’s very insecure and feels he won’t fit in.

He has been going to this same bar for 9 yrs. and me just 1 year ago. He is comfy with the surroundings of the bar and the friends he has there. He doesn’t socialize very much anywhere else and I do. I’m very outgoing. He told me once he’s not a lover of life and has had suicidal thoughts since he was a teenager. He is now 45 and I am 43.

He has clung to me and doesn’t want the outside world to pull me away from him, that has been his fear. He hasn’t had a relationship last more than a few months and another issue is he isn’t a good kisser at all and in bed not very passionate.

Again he will do anything for me but these things are just built into a person, I think. and it’s important to me to being compatible with someone.

I admit I have been a flirt while at this bar. Again I have never cheated… but once alcohol is involved my frustration builds and I push away from him and the flirting starts with other guys.

We broke up once a month ago only for a week. I took him back, then a week ago I broke off with him again. It was a ugly breakup due to alcohol was involved with me while being at the bar.

I’ve never been mean or hurtful to him and he hasn’t with me. I emailed him twice to explain how I was feeling… he read but didn’t reply. He’s not talking with anyone.

I’m so confused as to my heart is hurting so bad. I miss him and love him. I’ve been sick to my stomach all week but I’m scared…. I’m scared that things wont be right if we get back together.
Thank you for reading,
June

Hi June,
I think that, honestly, the two of you need some time apart to get some counseling.

Alcohol abuse is a sure sign of discomfort, with what I couldn’t tell you, I don’t know you.

Your (ex) boyfriend has agoraphobia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agoraphobia) which can be treated, either through medication, counseling, or both.

Stop emailing your feelings to him.
Enough is enough.

He’s likely hurt but not in a “broken love” way, more of a “don’t know what to do” way and since he has no one to talk this over with except for bar-buddies, at this time in your life you’re better off working on yourself.

You’re both old enough to make the most of the rest of your lives worth living, now is the time for change.

You haven’t spoken much about your previous relationships but I feel as though you’ve been through the wringer. Take some time for yourself.

Enrol in a cooking class… something out of the house where you can meet people other than at a bar.

If you can lighten the load you are putting on yourself you’ll be much better, you’ll have more energy and all around enjoy “you” more.

I wish you well,
Email me any time.
Best wishes,
Rob.