Attraction and the Bad Boys

Dear Rob,
I need some help.

There is this girl that I’ve seen in my local bar and she’s HOT. She keeps hanging out with these total jerks.

I’ve talked with her a few times and she’s really nice to me. I buy her drinks and we chat a lot all kinds of things but whenever her jerk friends shoe up (guys!), she’s hanging with them.

I don’t have her email or number, I just meet her in the bar when she shows up. I’ve been hanging out there more so I can chat with her.

How do I get her more interested in me so I can date her?
LA Boy

Hi LA Boy,
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that she wants a little “danger” in her life while what you offer is a comforting person to talk with until her real friends show up.

She’s either interested in you as a friend, as a bar drinking buddy with an open wallet, or maybe, just maybe, she’s waiting for you to “man up” and ask her some personal questions and a date too.

The people she’s hanging out with once they show up offer her more fun than you do. I bet one guy busts on her all the time, teasing her, calling her names, and she get’s real excited in her answers to all the teasing. This is classic “Bad Boy” techniques. Girls really respond to this type of interaction. It’s fun, a little dangerous, and keeps them guessing about what’s next. Their interest level goes up, their anticipation for what’s going to happen next spikes up and they like the guy more and more. The “Bad Boy” is beyond the “wussy-safe-guy” that you represent.

Take the step forward.

Get her email, chat with her online, (stop hanging out at the bar so much, she’ll think you’re a drunk if you aren’t already!), get her phone number. Open up communication on a more personal level by getting her info.

Search the local paper and see if there’s anything interesting going on, a car show, a craft sale, something where the two of you can spend some time together, hanging out seeing stuff.

Heck, take her bowling or minigolf if she’s into those things. Talk to her and find out, the door is open, my friend, it’s time to step through it.

And for goodness sakes, bust on her once in a while. Get her interest to increase in you, be “the Man” not the soft wuss you are now.
Best wishes,
Rob.

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