College Freshman Dating A Highschool Senior? Not Likely!

Dear Rob,
I recently confessed my affection to a guy friend of mine and to my surprise, he felt the same.

We sat and talked, discussing if we wanted to become more than friends. He suggested that we go on a date, to see where we could take things. So we go out and things are going great. When people ask him if I was his girlfriend he tells them I am. But we get back to his car, we start to discuss our relationship in detail and he reveals to me that he is unsure about us because while I’ll be starting my senior year in high school, he’ll be starting college at a school an hour and a half away from me.

I started to become frustrated with him because he keeps telling me that he really likes me (even mentioning examples) but how he is somewhat swayed by “outside forces”.
He is a very smart guy and a very logical thinker. That’s why he’s had so much trouble deciding. He begins to tear up because he “doesn’t know what to do.”

We decide to leave and head for a park to walk. So while he’s driving, I tell him that I’m sorry… that I shouldn’t have put all that on him but it’s just I have such strong feelings for him and I’ve heard the “long-distance relationship insecurity” thing before.

We both start crying and he tells me that he’s sorry too and I admit to him about my past relationships and how they never seem to work out and he tells me that any guy that wouldn’t want to go out with you is crazy. So we get to the park and talk and have an amazing time. We come home, kiss, embrace and I tell him that I want to see him before he leaves. but since that day, I haven’t received any communication from him although I see that he checked my myspace page quite frequently after our date. I told him how I felt about the whole thing but I haven’t talked to him since. I’m trying to give him his space but it’s coming down to the wire. And I really care about him but I don’t know what to do. I feel emotionally exhausted about the whole thing. 🙁

Thanks for reading. Hope to hear from you soon. 🙂
Signed,
Hopeless in Colorado

Hi Hopeless,
This guy doesn’t need his space. He needs his life. And what he fears most is that he’s going to be a college freshman dating a high school girl.
Trust me, it’s not going to work. There is distance and the school bias working against this. Your guy knows this although he also knows what he’ll be missing if he doesn’t date you now.

He’s already showing you his doubts and, with distance and a new life and the college world in front of him, your relationship won’t last if you let it get started. And he’s ignoring you so that he doesn’t have to say this to your face.

Remain his friend but know that your lives are about to take different directions. Do not get involved at this point. If he asks you why you’ve decided to remain friends tell him what I told you.

And next summer, should you both be single maybe you can really become more than friends. But not before. Too many changes are going to happen to him, and you, in the coming months.
Best wishes,
Rob.

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