Girlfriend Insecurities

Hi Rob,
I’ve tried asking you before, so I’ll try again, if that’s O.K. with you.

I’ve known this girl for 6 years, but has been seeing/dating for 8 months now. I love her, and she loves me. The problem is that I’m really insecure and is confused in what to do. She also has an ex-boyfriend who she’s still interacting with. Sometimes she seems to spend more time with him than she does with me. And I also think the ex-boyfriend is falling back in love with her. So soon he’ll try to seduce her, if he’s not trying already.

At the same time, she has a lot of male friends and hangs out with them too. I’m more confident about these male “toys” she refers them to, but all these guys really like her too and want to date her as well. (Amongst other things.) She also toys with them into making them want her but to have the “Look, but don’t touch” thing going on. I one day fear that I’ll one day become a “toy” to her too.

I’m really confused about this situation, and any smart guy would just look into this situation and say “Break up with her”. But all these things happened during our relationship and I’m still very much in love with her. I keep fearing she’ll leave me for her ex again, or one of her boy toys.

My insecurities keep eating up my insides, we’re fighting more, and it has almost led to us breaking up many times. I even considered spying on her and I hate what I’ve become. I just want a healthy relationship with the woman I love and to be confident that she won’t cheat on me. Can you help me be more confident about myself?
Thank you,

Hi J.J.,
She’s testing the waters, expressing her freedom.
And the more you complain about it, the more you fight about it, the more you lose her.

I bet that if you keep this up she dumps you in less than two months.

Make friends with her friends. Bury your insecurities.
And start enjoying the fact that you’re not her only friend so that you can have a life too, outside of your relationship.

Really, being such a wuss, such a complainer and so insecure will certainly drive her away.

Lighten up. Remember, she’s dating you, not any of those other guys.
Best wishes,

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