I’ve just been looking through your advice central and have found some of the stuff really interesting. However, I’m not sure how relevant the stuff is for me.
Now, I may have never had a girlfriend, but I am not shy of girl, generally. I occasionally get a bit flirty just to sort of… Dare myself I guess. I get very flirty with the girls I am closest with.
One girl in particular I am constantly hugging and holding hands with in lessons (However, she is WELL know for flirting with guys, however she does seem rather more than usual with me). We talk constantly. I have found myself coming so close to asking her out, but I can’t… If she said no, it would make our friendship very awkward.
I’d also feel very embarassed all of the time in school and so on.
The other problem is there is another guy like me in the year below who she spends her break and lunchtimes with. She is just as flirty with him as with me (Me and him are good mates actually). I always feel incredibly jealous when they are near each other. I really don’t know what to do…
My other issue is that I have feelings for another girl. I don’t know her as well and have only started talking to her for about a year. I try to talk to her, but I try not to make it obvious I like her. In fact, I try to make out as if I’m not interested in her sometimes. I’m very careful with what i ask her or talk to her about. She isn’t as pretty as the other girl, but I like her personality a lot more.
The big issue is that I am not friends with any of her friends (except one). She is popular, especially with a group of the “tough” lads who don’t like me.
When I talk to her as of late, I have found myself insulting her as a joke. I try to make it very obvious I’m joking so it seems like flirting, but I’m not sure if she realises, or if it annoys her, or anything. in fact, I’m probably being stupid by doing it, I’m just not sure.
If I had to pick which girl I could have, it’d be the second, but I doubt I have a chance with either…
Any advice greatly appreciated, thanks rob for taking the time to read this.
(I don’t which to give my real name in case any of my friends see this if it gets published!)
The fact of the matter is:
1 – you have to decide who to ask out, and
2 – you need to stop being a wuss and ask one of them to “help you study” or something where you can spend time alone with her, whichever one you choose.
Stop being a flirt, that only works for so long. It’s good to have girls that are friends, but it’s better to have a girlfriend and you know this or you wouldn’t have emailed me.
It’s time to take responsibility for your feelings and act on them.
Plan your next move with the one you really like and if she breaks your heart, well, that’s just one more step on the walk of life!
We all have confidence issues when faced with starting to date, it’s natural, awkward and totally realistic. What you have to do is allow yourself the opportunity to “fail” with the one you like so that you will know how to handle this later in life. If you keep hiding your true feelings you’ll never do well with women.
Ask her and maybe, just maybe, she’ll say YES instead of NO.