Tag Archives: boyfriend help

How To Seal The Deal

Dear Rob,
You seem to have a good grasp on this subject PLEASE HELP!! here we go…

I am a 21 year old college student… there was a beautiful girl in my class that I just had to get to know… so I strategically became her lab partner (4 months ago)

When I met her she had a boyfriend of 4 years whom she was with throughout all of high school… but they were on they had been verge of a breakup for a while due to his controlling nature and the fact that he hid an addiction to marijuana from her. she is a relatively strict Christian and he was not so much….obviously.

I have been very laid back with her no pressure no heavy flirting… now we stay up countless hours studying and working on homework at either her house or mine… we usually end up doing other things like going for walks, playing games, even going in her hot tub or just talking and goofing around…

Lately the past couple weeks we’ve gone to the drive in… we get lunch… she comes over on sat night and we “hang out”… she always says she’s over her bf and moved on yet she talks about him occasionally

We have a very good connection… and seem to enjoy each others company… she Emailed me a picture of the two of us… with smiley face… just little things like that… but she has never outright hinted towards liking me and it seems very casual

I’m not cocky.. but I’m not a bad looking guy, I’m athletic, I have a good job, a nice car, a motorcycle, I am a Christian like her, she likes soccer, I coach kids soccer, I volunteer for the homeless, she tells me I’m very intelligent and funny… theoretically I have a good chance?

I know giving in and telling her I feel for her is probably the worst idea… hence I have resisted and kept it casual… but we talk everyday and always know what each other are doing and always have plans with each other and we’ve gotten so close…. Rob this has gone on long enough… I have never felt like this before… she makes me weak like a little school girl and she is the most amazing person I have ever met… I have gotten this far without blowing it… but am loosing strength and I fear becoming to obvious… what can I do to make her want to be mine, WHAT SHOULD I DO TO SEAL THE DEAL?

Hi,
You’ve been spending a lot of time with her and that’s great.

What you aren’t doing is being specific with her.

The next time you’re alone with her say to her “I really like you a lot and I want to make our being together official. Will you be my girlfriend?”

Just like that.

She may say “No” and if she does, then just back off for awhile.

Who knows what contact she has with her ex, maybe she needs to just to be hanging around with someone without the pressure of a relationship.

But you have to let her know that you’re falling for her otherwise the time she spends with you will simply be “relationship healing time” and she’ll start looking for someone else right under your nose.

I have a feeling that she will either say yes or she will want to think about it.
Either answer is in your favor.

But if she can’t give you an answer you’ll need to make her miss you by not being available all the time for her.

Once she starts missing you she will be more apt to decide to date you to not lose what she had with you.

Often women don’t see the best suitor in front of them until they’re gone.

To sum up:
1 Ask her to be your girlfriend
2 If she says yes, move forward
3 If she says no or she wants to think it over, become scarce, don’t hang out with her so much, give her a chance to miss you
4 Know that the future is yours, but you have to pro-actively move the relationship from where it is now to where it belongs, whether getting closer or more apart and you can start dating other women.
Best wishes,
Rob