Tag Archives: cheating

Do I Keep My Boyfriend or the Guy I Met Online?

Dear Rob,
I’m in a state of confusion whether to ‘breakup’ or end communicating with this guy. I’m 27 and he’s 26.

I met him online and we’ve been chatting for almost 6 months now.

He’s halfway round the world, obviously. We just talk things out if we’re not busy. We like each other but I guess he likes me more because he doesn’t seem to care if I have a boyfriend already ( I have a steady boyfriend for 6 years in a relationship).

I’m totally impressed with his style because for 6 months straight he remained respectful… not a typical guy you’ve met online who would go overboard, you know those stuffs. No pressure at all from him.

He used to tell me that we’re not talking ‘relationships’ but liking each other.  He said, he really doesn’t know why he likes me so much and remained communicating with me even though I shut out our communication for two months straight.

And I don’t even know what type of relationship we are in right now.

What it’s called Rob?

Of course I should not expect more out of this because I’m cheating with my boyfriend.

That’s the point.  So…

Why does this guy keeps me at bay?

He doesn’t want to end our communication. He said he’ll be around til we grow old. lol…  He said I have every right on him.. every right.  But he doesn’t want to open up his 3 year relationship with his ex. Could it be he still loves her? I’m just a cover up?

And he also told me that if I want to meet him I just have to say so. But as I see it,  no strings attached, since he’s got plans to have a girlfriend in his place.

It’s just that he doesn’t found someone special. He used to say that why we’re so far from each other.

He’s culture bound and he’s not christian.

What do you think Rob?

Hi,

I think you are cheating on the guy you’re with and looking for a reason to escape this relationship.

I’m not going to give it to you. But I think you’ll make that one up for yourself.

6 years in a relationship and still dating? Living together without a firm commitment on marriage?

Do you see why you have doubts?

You need to decide for yourself which is going to be the better relationship, the one you have now or your fantasy guy that you met online. 6 months of chatting doesn’t amount to a hill of beans.

You are in a fantasy relationship with this online guy, that’s what it’s called.

When you meet someone online my rule is: “You never know someone until you can smell them”.

There are big differences between his culture and yours. Watch out. There is a lot more to this story and what you’re not telling me are the reasons why you don’t think this ‘relationship” would work. Follow your gut instinct about this, and end it.

And if you do go to visit him, yes, there are strings attached. You are becoming emotionally attached to this shadow guy, this figment of an online boyfriend. End it now.

I really think you need some single time or counselling to decide why you have allowed yourself to put yourself in this situation.

What are you looking for outside of your current relationship?

Best wishes,

Rob