Tag Archives: emails read wrong

How To Handle Her Flaking Out

Dear Rob,
I came across your posts on the Internet and I think you might be able to help me with some advices. First, sorry for the eventual grammar mistakes, I am not a native English speaker.

I am a 27 years old man, pretty well educated (degrees in both engineering and economics) and reasonably good looking. I have met one girl I really liked at a party in a Saturday night. She is about the same age as I am.

We have discussed all night, we have danced and, apparently, everything was working smoothly. I have got her phone number without any trouble.

Then, I have called her on Wednesday to ask her for a date next Saturday (I was planning to go watching a movie). During the conversation she told me it would be nice to watch a movie, but she is unsure about she will have time because she is pretty busy (she needs to get in touch with an electrician to fix something in her new house). Anyway, she mention is better to discuss on Friday evening the details. Because she didn’t called me, I phoned her on Friday evening. She mentioned she was unable to contact the electrician and she is in doubt will be able to discuss with him on Saturday. She suggested we should wait until Saturday morning and she will phone me in order to see if she will be able to meet me. Saturday morning she didn’t called me, but, she sent me a message on the mobile phone stating she will meet with the electrician, she has work to do in the house and she won’t be able to meet me. She ended the message saying something like “keep in touch”.

Frankly, I am a little bit disappointed about her attitude because I would have preferred to call and tell me she can’t meet me that day, instead just sending a message (which I think is a little impersonal method of communicating with someone). What I am a little confused is the end of the message. I am pretty sure she is avoiding having a date, but the end of the message is confusing me.
I am considering the possibility of calling her next Wednesday to ask her out for a coffee, considering that, normally she should find some time for this in her busy schedule. Do you think I should call her … or not?

I really don’t understand her attitude, she even refused the first date and didn’t gave me any chance at all. I wonder than why she gave me her phone number in the first place …. it was pretty clear I am going to ask her out. I find her attitude quite immature for a woman of her age … but, what can I say, I like her very much … I know for sure from a very good friend of her that she doesn’t have a boyfriend.
Thanks for all your advice,
Ben

Hi Ben,
One more call, that’s it.

What I suggest is that you invite her out for a coffee, maybe you can meet up somewhere when she’s out running her errands if she says that she can’t commit to a specific time or day.

Many women expect an “Instant attraction” moment and she had one, or else the party was extremely boring when she spent most of it with you.

Don’t take it personally of she doesn’t meet with you, if she flakes out.
Maybe she does need to grow up some more.

If she bails out on you again, then it’s time to put this one back in the pasture and find someone else to date.
Best wishes,
Rob.