Tag Archives: teen dating advice

Getting With The Popular Girl

Hey Rob,
I have been reading some of your replies lately to some other people and so I figured you would be the only person who could help me!

There is this girl in my high school. I am 16. She looks really nice. We only talked a couple of times, I just know her cell phone number due to some incident that happened to her but she doesn’t even know me too much to talk on the phone. I would end up making a fool out of myself.

The problem is that she is one of the popular girls in school, you know the rich and popular type. Whereas, moi, well let’s just say I am not exactly a looker and to some extent, yes a nerd. Not really one of the richest/popular guys at school.
I don’t even know her too much to know what interests we share… it makes me really sad. Its summer now. I don’t know how I could survive 3 more months not looking at her! Please give me some advice!! I am desperate!!
Thanks!

Hi,
Getting in with the popular girl at school isn’t all too hard, depending on her overall attitude and availability.
And your self-confidence level.

First off, what makes a popular girl popular:
– She’s good looking
– Hangs out with other popular people
– Clean and nice smelling
– Wears nice clothes
– Knows the lyrics to the top songs
– Enjoys going out with her crowd of people
– Dates lots of guys without getting serious
– Shows that she has self confidence and high self esteem (even though she probably doesn’t and is scared on the inside of becoming unpopular)

She is surrounded by popularity so it just rubs off on her. She has attitude and a level of personal pride. And it’s these things that usually also stop guys from approaching her sincerely, why she ends up dating jerks. It’s the jerk that actually shows confidence and has the ability to talk to her, bust on her, that allows him to enter her social circle.

Now, what makes the unpopular guy such a loser?
– He’s not always dressed well
– Not always smelling ‘shower fresh’
– Doesn’t exude confidence in himself
– Keeps to himself, not very many friends
– Doesn’t get involved in group activities unless he can hide behind someone else’s actions
– He’s a follower not a leader
– He thinks that he’s not good enough to become popular
– Usually very afraid to talk to girls
– Afraid of being told he’s wrong by his peers so he doesn’t voice an opinion about anything

So, if you want to turn around your chances to get with the popular girl you have to make some serious changes about your own personal outlook.

You’ve got to be able to approach, talk to, joke with, bust on, all kinds of women. Not just the pretty ones, not only the popular girls, not the ones that makes you dizzy with sexual thoughts. You have to be able to talk to any girl, any time, anywhere.

You’ve got to clean up yourself so you can break into the group that surrounds your ideal girl. Make yourself into a confident man. Not a lovesick puppy.

How do you start these changes?
– Go shopping. All by yourself. Clothes shopping is the best. You need to find a shirt, a stylish shirt. One that fits well with a high price tag. And you’re going to approach sales girls in the clothing shops in the mall and you’re going to get them to help you, not only find the right shirt but help you to get used to conversations with pretty girls. Go into the shop. See the pretty sales girl. Ask her if this shirt (any nice shirt you pick out) comes in your size. Ask her if she’d date a guy in this type of shirt. Ask her what she has that goes with the shirt. Ask her if she’s seen the latest movie (what ever it is) and if she thinks that a shirt makes the guy in the movie she saw and why. Bust her on the badly chosen character she mentions. Then say thanks, and you’ll think about the shirt. And move on to the next store.

– Get some lines prepared to ask sales girls, waitresses, about what they think, what they do on their job. These girls that are paid to serve you are great to test out your lines and build your confidence. They have to be nice to you. Just remember that they aren’t going to date you, just reply nicely to you.

When you’ve started getting used to talking to women, move on to your target. You’re lucky in that it is summer, so your popular girl likely isn’t going to be hanging around with as many friends as she did in school and may have more free time to spend with someone new. As well, the pressure is lessened on her to be such a tight-ass popular girl and break on the geeks and nerds. Your chances are better during summer vacation and holiday time off school than any other time during the year because of the less pressure to maintain her status quo and the popularity pressure from her circle of popular friends.

You’ve got her number. Call her up. Say you like her style sense, meet me in the mall tomorrow and help me buy a shirt. Don’t ask, tell. Give her a time get her to say yes and get off the phone. If she says she doesn’t know her say you’re the guy that did that thing with that other girl that so many people talked about. Don’t describe any more. Get her interest up and get the date when you tell her when and where and then get off the phone. 3 Minute call, at most.

When you meet her at the mall go into the same stores where you started conversations with the sales girls. Hopefully you’ve left a positive impression on them and they’ll treat you really nice, maybe even remember your name. This is a great way to stir interest and maybe spark a little jealousy in your popular girl, making her want you just a little more.

Be prepared with small things to talk about:
Clothes
School classes
Movies
Music

Get her to talk about herself more than you talk about her or yourself. Do not allow any awkward silences. If there seems to be a break in the conversation, jump in with “What do you like about…” and keep the conversation going.

This should get you going. You’ve got your work cut out for you now.
Best wishes,
Rob.

Writing A Teen’s First Love Letter

Dear Rob,
I know you don’t usually answer messages from teenagers, but I think this girl is the one.

I’ve been around this block before, but never felt the way I do. I love this girl. I wrote her a letter, but I’m not sure how to deliver it in a romantic way.

We go to different schools, but only live about 1/2 mile apart. I wish I could give it to her at school, but that just doesn’t work.

I have tried to catch her at her bus stop but I can time it right. Also, because we go to different schools I haven’t talked to her in a while, so it would feel really awkward to just ring her doorbell and give it to her.

So I just need help coming up with a romantic way to deliver my letter.
Thanks,
R

Hi R,
I am sure you’re filled of great intentions. I’m sure you’re more attracted to this girl than anyone you’ve ever met, heck, ever even seen before.

BUT, you know her name, where she lives and not much else about her. Maybe she’s dating someone else right now, eh?
What about that?
Maybe she doesn’t feel the same way about you? Maybe you’re about to flame yourself out by sending her a mushy, lovey-dovey letter that means absolutely nothing to her because she doesn’t even know you exist!

My advice is to take that letter, put it in a freezer bag and wrap it tight. Put that bag into another freezer bag and fill that bag with water and seal it tight. Then put the whole thing in the freezer, somewhere safe, under an old frozen steak or something.

Then write her a new letter. This one simply says:
This is “C”.
I haven’t seen you at the bus stop recently. I have been hoping to talk with you.
Do you like to go XXXX (bowling, eat at some place, hang at out some place), let’s go together at XXX(this time).
Call me at XXX-XXXX or email me at XXX@XXXX and let me know.
Your friend,
“C”

Do not send her the love letter. Don’t buy her gifts. Hang out with her first. Invite her out to somewhere, to do something, with you first.
Love letters and gifts come later.
Trust me.
Rob.

The Inadvertent Player

Dear Rob,
Five years back I got in touch with my old 8th grade friend from back home. We got in touch through emails and became really good friends. He used to be affectionate and used to tell me its only as a degree of affection as a friend. I was like ok.

I visited him and we met a couple of times when I went back home. Then also he used to say I love you and I miss you. But every time he used to say it’s only as a friend. I got back and again we were in touch through emails. Suddenly he changed, started flirting with me so much. The flirting became so deep that he asked me if I can wait for 2 years, then he will marry me. I always told him I cannot commit without my dad’s consent and asked him to talk to my dad.

But I clearly showed back affection and interest towards him. He was like “ya..I’ll talk to your dad and we can marry”. For 5 or 6 months this continued. He talked almost like we were in a relationship. One day, suddenly he changed and started saying that whatever he did to me is all “legpulling”. I was so shocked, cried and asked him why did he all this to me.

All he was saying is he just leggpulled. he said he likes me but didn’t think beyond that (like going for a long-time relationship or marriage). He asked me if I seriously wanna get into a relation with him. He gave a few days time to think and tell him. I told yes, and after I told him yes, he was like I also need to think and decide.

He suggested me to wait for 6 to 8 months, and he told me we can understand each other for few months and then decide. I told him ok. After 6 months, He is still not sure about anything, and now he is saying destiny will decide in the future. I told him clearly lets quit everything and be good friends.

For that also, he is not so ready to quit me forever. He still wants me to hang on to him and saying lets be friends now with out any expectations and destiny will decide. But I clearly told him to quit everything. He said he will decide about the quitting and will tell his decision soon.

I simply couldn’t understand this guys intention? Is he playing with me? Should I quit him forever? I’m confused.

One thing he tells me he might not have pulled my legs if he knew that I liked him in that sense. Did he really do legpulling with me for 5 months? I cannot believe how some one can pull legs for 5 months continuously? Is he lying about legpulling? He also said he pull his other close female friend legs and those gals never misunderstood him.
Thanks,
Tina

Hi Tina,
Guys like this act the way they do for two reasons:
1. See how far they can “get” with you when you’re with them, and;
2. It’s comforting for them to experience “love and affection” when they are really just waiting for someone better to come along.

This guy has been playing you, whether he really meant to or not.
It’s time to not only give him space, but to leave him be.
This is the type of guy that would cheat on you, break up with you and come crawling back, over and over.

He’s the type that would take you for granted, because you really would love him and he really hasn’t experienced “love” for you.

Dump him.
Don’t contact him anymore.
Look for someone that will treat you with respect and real love.
Best wishes,
Rob.

Can True Love Be Confusing?

Dear Rob,
I am in love and the guy I am in love with says he loves me too. He says when I am sad and crying, he cries too.

He says he was thinking about killing himself, but once he knew he loved me, he said he stopped. Today, he was really grumpy and mean, and it seemed like he didn’t care about me or what I said or did!

Does he really love me, or is he just saying that? Please Email me back!
Sincerely,
Confused

Dear Confused,
He’s lying to you to get something from you.

I’d break off with him and avoid him until he matures.
Best wishes,
Rob.

Never Give A Guy A Second Chance

Hi Rob,
Look I need your help, I don’t know what to do any more.

My friends give me advice but it’s not good enough for me. Well you see I’m already in a relationship…. and I have been with him a time before this. He did me real dirty and we ended up breaking up…well at first I thought it was the end and that I’d give anything to have him back. so I distanced myself from him and it took him 2 months but he came back begging for a 2nd chance. Being the good person with a KIND heart I said yes.

Well its only been 3 weeks and I don’t feel the same!?!?!

A friend who’d been through the same problem as me said it took her sometime to feel the same when her and her boyfriend got back together… but 3 weeks seems to long!!!!

I don’t want to break up with cause I still care, I just cant respect him any more!!! But there’s also something other then that I forgot to say 🙂

There’s this one guy at school, and I’m not that type of girl who cheats but he always stares at me… and it looks like he wants to say something but never does. I find him to be so interesting. lol

That’s how I felt about my boyfriend before all this. But all he ever does is smile and looks at me. He has said about 18 words to me but do you think I should work things out with my boyfriend or go talk to the guy at school???

Hi,
You need to break up with this guy.
AND stop being so dependent.

If you value yourself only by the guy you’re going out with you’re going to have a lot of heartache.

My suggestion:
Break up with boyfriend number one.
Ignore the guy that’s staring at you…. sounds freaky to me and just because a guy makes eyes at you you’re considering changing your boyfriends?
UGH!

Stay single until the week before Valentine’s Day and see who comes after you.
Feel free to date anyone BUT the guy you broke up with.
Never give a guy a second chance.
Best wishes,
Rob.