When The Guy Doesn’t Call

Hi Rob,
I need your advice on how I should respond and/or feel about a situation….I have been on 4 wonderful dates with a man. When I left his house on Sunday he called me about an hour later to make certain I had found my way home and said he’d call me later that evening, but never did. It is now Tuesday afternoon and I still haven’t heard anything from him. What do I make of this?

Hi Confused,
A guy almost always calls when he says he will.
Possible reasons why a call won’t call are:
– lost interest in you
– something embarrassing is happening to him that he doesn’t want to share
– he’s talked to his friends and they advised him not to call, not to look desperate
– he feels that he should wait more than 3 days to call you to make your next date

Give him two more days to call you. Then I’d call him, give him heck for not calling you when he said he did and tell him that’s not how to treat you, and for him not to do it again. Or simply say that you had a good time and you wondered what happened because he didn’t call when he said he would. Don’t be too demanding but make sure he knows to always follow-up what he says he’ll do for you. Be straightforward.

Many guys go by the rules of timing when to call after having a date. In order not to appear too needy guys should wait three or four days between calls for a date.

Remember though, it is OK to call right after the date but keep the conversation short. Make sure your date made it home OK, that she had a good time and get off the phone. Dragging out a conversation right after having the date is bad form for any guy. And call frequency increases as you date more. After four dates if interest level is kept high then you’re at the 3 call a week level even if you’re still only going on one date a week. When you start going on more than one date a week the calls can increase to every couple of days. But guys need to call when they say they’re going to call.
Best wishes,

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