He Doesn’t Know I Love Him
We were close once, we still work in the same place, he flirts with other women but I love him... what can I do?

Dear Rob,

I have a long term friend. We fancied each other, said we had feelings, but nothing ever came of it. I am insecure & he is a flirt, so we had lots of fights & the friendship has taken time to come back.

The other night we are at a work do. We barely say hello or look at each other, he is with lots of women, one in particular who adores him is all over him. We exchange a few words at the end of the night, she drags him out to dance, gets a bit heavy. So I go to get a taxi. Minutes later he is outside & says he is getting a taxi, then walks off.

Next day he comes up to me, we talk about the night, he stands very close, seems emotional, then we are interrupted by another friend and he gets annoyed at the interupt. He keeps coming back over & is all friendly and nervous bt I dunno if he felt sorry for me or if it was interest.

He is equally attentive & gentle later on, which he hasnt been for over a year.

Next day, he flirts with her again while I am sitting nearby. Today, as I am talking to him, she passes & he is all friendly to her. I walk off & when I meet him again he looks at me and smiles but when I drop my head he goes cold again. Today he was less affectionate.Yesterday it was like he was almost panicking.

I don’t know what to do. I love him still. I can’t be his friend & be OK about him being with other women. Does he have any clue how I feel do you think? And why the nice one day, back to friends the next?

He was so close to me the day after the night out that the guy who interupted thought it was suspicious and actually stood next to me even though he was not welcome.

Is this guy actually so cruel (I find it hard to believe cause he is a nice guy in general) that he would just not care how I feel? Does he not know how I feel? Or is he trying to provoke me into some kind of action?

Bear in mind all this is going on and we barely speak to one another. We are just work colleagues with a history of what was once a deep friendship.We have never slept together. I know that he genuinely cared for me in the past. I will not show emotion though or give him attention & this was what drove us apart in the beginning. He tends to go for women who show obvious like for him.

Please help me Rob.


Guy’s don’t know what isn’t told to them.

He’s a flirt because he thrives on attention and he puts in it your face to say “that if you’re not interested then so what, there’s other girls”.

I see a lot of conflict if the two of you were to start dating because of the conflict of personalities. You look for comfort and he looks for approval, not a good mix.

You say you love him but all this is unstated?
You are in a fantasy that has to end, here and now. Unless you can live with picking up his dirty socks every night.
Good luck!