Will She Become My Girlfriend?
If she is ready to date you, she’ll get real angry that you’re ditching her… if she doesn’t, well you never had a chance.

Dear Rob,
I’m a 17 year old guy, and I like this girl. The problem is, I don’t know if she just wants to be friends or does she like me the same way I like her.

Here is some background:
She doesn’t have a lot of “girl” friends, most of her friends are guys. I started talking to her about a month ago at school. She was in a past relationship for 8 months until they broke up. But then they got back together for about 2 days and split again, and I think its for good this time. Well anyway we talked for about two weeks before going out to eat together, and we have been to dinner a couple times after that.

On Fridays I go pick her up and go hang out with my friends. Sometimes we will all go and get something quick to eat. Well, my friends sometimes like to tease me, so we were all in line about to order our food when my buddy ask me, “You paying for your girls food right?”, and when he said that, she said very snappy, “I’m not his girl, there is nothing going on between us”. And I was kind of confused because I had thought we were “dating”. Also, sometimes I will do something nice for her like bring her a biscuit in the morning before school starts, buy her a drink if she has no money. And she will say, “You’re so nice, I’m glad your my “friend”, or something to that affect.

Now it has been about a month since I first met her and we are hanging out more than ever. She invited me over to her house to eat dinner, and she goes with me about everywhere. She calls me every night and sometimes in the morning as I’m getting up. She is always talking about how much we have in common, and how were almost like “brother and sister” (I don’t know what that means). I’m tired of having to correct people when they call her my girlfriend. I like her as a girlfriend, but I’m confused of how she likes me.

Thanks for your time Rob,

Hi Me,
It’s obvious to me that you haven’t yet had a girlfriend.

So this is what you do… stop talking to her. Not in a mean way but just in a “I’m busy and I’ll call you back” type thing.

Depending how she reacts will tell you if she wants to be your girlfriend or if she still thinks of you as a “brother”. (“Brother” means that she’s waiting for her ex-boyfriend to start dating her, usually!)

Don’t be confused, a lot of guys get caught in the middle of women (of all ages) play with their (ex-)boyfriends and get burned in the process.

You make her chase you a little bit, not talking for all hours on the phone, walk-by hellos in the hall at school… just play loose and don’t hang on everything she does.

If she is ready to date you, she’ll get real angry that you’re ditching her… if she doesn’t, well you never had a chance and she was just killing time with you until her ex-boyfriend came back to her.
Best wishes,